Teaching Kurt a Lesson
by Bamfing Bob
Summary: Nightcrawler faces his toughest crowd ever: kids! He also meets a pretty teacher who he has quite an interest in.


Disclaimer: I do not own Nightcrawler, the X-Men, or the Avengers. I'm not recieving any profit for my writings and am only using Marvel's characters to promote them and expand my ideas.

Kurt and Kids

I went to an Elementary School in Brooklyn today as a spokesperson for Mutant Awareness Day, the newest of holidays among Americans. They don't get school off (figures) so they decided to treat it like St. Patrick's Day; recognized but not celebrated. I arrived at PS 92 two hours late due to a crisis in Washington DC that needed the special services of the X-Men, which wasn't really worth the trip since the Avengers had already taken care of it by the time we got there.

I came to the school dressed in street clothes, but even in a T-Shirt, blue jeans with a hole in the back for a tail, and custom-made sandals, I still stand way out in a crowd, so I first introduced myself in disguise via image inducer.

"Hello boys and girls" I announced to the auditorium full of about 300 teachers and students. "My name is Kurt Vaugner (I know it's spelled Wagner, but it's pronounced Vaugner) and I am a mutant. Who knows vhat a mutant is?" I asked all of the children muttering things to each other like "He doesn't look like a mutant" and "I wonder what his powers are?".

I called on a little boy near the back with green hair who seemed very nervous about everyone looking at him. "It's someone who is different from everyone else."

"Very good! Of course, every-vone is different in his or her own vay, but mutants are very unique, usually looking odd or having a gift zat no vone else has. How many of you are mutants? Raise your hands."

Only about two or three do so at first, but after a bit of prompting, there were about twenty hands in the air. "See, mutants are quite common nowadays, and many of you are mutants and don't know it. You change vhen you are about zirteen so don't zink you aren't a mutant until you are done being a teenager. Any questions so far?"

"Mr. Vagner? You don't look like a mootant. You just sound funny."

"Oh right. Vell kids, right now, I am vearing an image inducer, vhich hides vhat I really look like. Vould you like to see ze real me?" At this, the children all started to yell in excitement and the teachers quickly settled them down. "Okay, but I must varn you. I look very, very different from you. Don't be scared."

I reached for the device on my wrist and typed in a code which reveals the true me. As soon as this happened, they all started screaming hysterically. Wow, like I've never had that reaction before. They started to point and stare, and that was just the teachers! Once order was maintained, I continued: "See children, vhen I looked like all of you, I vas accepted and treated like a guest. But vhen I look different, you vent crazy. Zat's vhy mutants are so scared in today's vorld. But I am no different zan I vas two minutes ago. Ve need to be understanding of mutants because zey didn't choose to be who zey are. You didn't decide vhat color your hair is or how tall you are. Ve must stay togezer. Now, are zere any questions?" Then came the fun part…

"Mr. Wagner, why are you blue?"

"Mister, how do you play the piano like that?"

"Mr. Wagger, you have a pretty tail."

"What are you powers Mr. Kurt?"

"Are you the devil?"

"Can you put the image thingy back on?"

Well. You could say I felt overwhelmed. Everyone was talking at once and I couldn't really hear myself think, let alone any of the questions. The only real question I heard was what my powers were, so I decided to answer that one. " Okay every-vone, settle down, settle down. Well, most of you know that mutants usually have powers. Who can guess vhat mine are?" I heard many of the popular powers: super-strength, flying, telepathy, etc.

"By a show of hands, who vants to see a demonstration?" A wave of hands made its way across the sea of children, so I did a little showcase for them. First, I did a triple back flip from the ground and got a roar from the students. Then I ran over to a wall and started to crawl up it. "Look, he's Spiderman!" yelled one of the little girls and everyone laughed, including myself. Then, I stood in a shadow and everyone thought I had completely disappeared. I then stepped out and heard a round of applause. I walked back up to the podium and asked them " Did you like zat?", replied by another uproar. " But vait, zat's not even ze greatest of my powers. Vatch zis. Every-vone look at ze back vall." Everyone turned around and looked at the back doors, at which point I teleported to the back of the room, accompanied by smoke and the smell of brimstone (which some kids made a big deal out of). Everyone clapped and I took a bow.

"Alright, every-vone turn back around." I bamfed back to the stage and continued "so you see, being a mutant isn't necessarily bad; it also has its advantages. So just to close, I vant to say zat every vone of you should treat mutants wiz respect. And to zose of you who are mutants, be proud of hat you are and don't use your powers unwisely. Now, I'm going to teleport one of your teachers before I go." The children went bonkers yet again as I looked for the cutest teacher in the crowd. I spotted a twenty-something brunette across the room with a perfect hourglass figure and eyes that could hypnotize the devil, which makes the odds pretty good for me. I 'ported right next to her and said in my sexy voice "Vould you like to take a ride on ze Nighty express?" 


End file.
